Dearest love,

Words from my soul that cannot be contained, feelings that I have wanted so much to share with you today…this evening.

You and I are forever, you know that? I want to share the rest of my life with you and I know you feel the same. Together we will decide the best way to do that.

You make me fly but in a way I’ve never known before. Safely. Because of you I’m not afraid to be me, to be the person I was always meant to be. You could not have given me a greater gift than if you had taken all your money and spent it all on me. The greatest gifts are these given from the heart. You have all my love, you always have. And what you do to me…you confuse me, you torment me, you tease me, you make me laugh, you make me cry but most of all - you make me love you.

And I find there is no life without you in it to share it with. Nothing is too hard, nothing is impossible because of you. You make me believe that anything and everything is possible.

I’m sitting here on the stairs but my thoughts are miles away. To wherever you are this evening. Wishing so much I could touch your face, your hair, that beautiful smile. Just to run my fingers down the side of your face would be heaven to me. Just to look in your eyes and see what I’ve been waiting to see. Just to let you look in my eyes and see my soul as I know you’ve been waiting to do. It’s there in my eyes. The truth of everything I’ve said to you. The truth of my feelings for you. More than mere words can express. I love you is not enough for what you do to me.

I am no longer afraid of you or afraid of this bond between us. Nor do I doubt your motives anymore. Ah, you didn’t know that did you. I wasn’t sure for a long time that you wouldn’t hurt me like all the other people in my life that I have cared about.
And it’s not that you haven’t hurt me - because you have - it’s just that somehow, someway you’ve always found a way to let me know you didn’t mean to. You are a complete mystery to me and yet I know you, know you better than I know myself.

And when you’ve hurt me, I see you in my mind and I want to turn away from you, I want to walk away but I cannot. I can only see myself standing before you, feeling somehow that you are holding me, looking into your face and knowing that I love you too much to ever leave you. Knowing that whatever you are doing to hold me to you does not make me feel trapped or caged. Only safe and loved.

I always end up walking into your arms. You always end up making me smile - at you. You always end up making me understand everything. You keep me balanced, you keep me centered and when I find (see) myself walking into your arms I know that I trust you with my life. And I am reminded again that I will always be safe with you.

No matter how many people there are around us making it impossible for you and I to talk, you and I will communicate with looks, with touches and in our hearts. If you do not feel me now I have no doubt that there will come a day that you will. And once you know where to find it, what it feels like, you will never forget.

I look at you and I know, I finally know, what it is to love and to be loved. Without conditions, without reservations. And I want to shout it out to the whole world what I’ve found. I shout it out in my heart to God instead. Not a day goes by that I don’t thank him for leading me back to you.

I never knew what real happiness was until I found you. Never knew it was possible to feel this way, to wake up every morning and smile because I love you, because knowing you has brought me a serenity that I never dreamed was possible. Knowing that if I can feel this way and not be with you that what I feel must be real and how much I have to look forward to when we do meet.

Here are my thoughts, my feelings as we get ready to do this. I hope you like them.

All my love,
lauren